I spent years in relationships without understanding the thing that was actually driving them. Not the other person's behaviour. Mine. The specific way I tended to relate to people when I felt close to them — or when I felt I might lose them.
Attachment theory tells us that your attachment style was formed in early life from the relationships that taught you what love and safety look and feel like. It then operates in every close relationship you have, largely unconsciously, until you understand it.
Mine was anxious-adjacent. The underlying belief: I have to work to be kept. It ran relationships, it ran businesses, it ran parenting. Completely invisible to me for years because it felt like dedication.
I have cleared every chakra. I have cleared every man. Turns out I'm the pattern. We move.
When I understood the pattern — really understood it, at the body level, not just intellectually — something shifted that no amount of trying harder had ever touched. Because the pattern is not a thought. It's a nervous system state. And you can't think your way out of a nervous system state.